Breaking up with a romantic love is a very difficult feeling that could be comparable to one’s emotion who’s loved one passed away.
Many people who mean well will just tell you that you should move on, and that you should find someone else. In many cases, this advice is good and appropriate. If a person no longer wants to be with you, then, they are not worth chasing after.
However this is not the case for many break-ups. There are some truly special love that should not just end prematurely—you have to fight for it. Even you have broken up. Some break-ups happened due to intoxicated wrong moves, a silly argument that escalated, or a simple misunderstanding. In these cases, you may not feel like moving on as you only want the person you love back into your arms.
With this in mind, we’ll take a look at the three steps a person should take to help them reconnect with their ex and win them back.
1) Re-establish Contact
This is the first step but can also be the trickiest because likely your ex may not want to talk to you. Re-establishing contact can be hard without coming across as a stalker or a bunny boiler.
Do not leave drunken crying voice mails at 3am and never send dozen text messages a day. Learn the art of patience.
If you have a lot of mutual friends, then perhaps it’s time to call in for a favour. Get them to reintroduce you on neutral ground, like a party or any stress-free social event. Always remember to be calm when you meet. Most importantly, give off an impression of someone who is fun to be around. Share jokes with your ex, have pressure-less fun rather than scare them away by pleading to take you back.
2) Become friends again
This might sound like a very obvious step but needs to be stated. Don’t try to resume things where you left off. You broke up because at that very moment of parting ways, at least one of you, cannot bear the feeling of being together. You need to rediscover what is it that you both liked about each other in the first place. This is impossible if you want to pick up where you left off.
If you try to rush things, you will get in the same arguments and repeat the same mistakes. Take a step back and become friends again. Approach your reunion in a way in which old friends would, not like former lovers. Think about when you first met. What was it that attracted you to each other and made you like each other?
3) Let it be known that you want him or her back
This will either work or it won’t depending on how well you have endeared yourself to your ex during the “friendly” stage. If you were funny, witty, and charming… you have probably endeared yourself to your ex and you will stand a good chance. If you could not get over the reasons why you broke up, then perhaps, it is for the best that you separate ways.
Getting to know each other again as friends will give you the best indication of whether or not you can get past your issues and start again. If all went well, then letting them know you want to start again will not even need to be spoken… it may all begin again with a kiss.