So now you’re Married, the honeymoon is over and now it’s time to start a new life with another person who hopefully you are completely in love with. Let’s make sure that the loving feelings you have for them now stay that way. Start by practicing the following MUST DO’s for any newlywed.
One thing that negatively affects many marriages is dwindling communication over time. couples get so much into the routine of life and so self-involved that they forget to include each other in their daily lives. Sit down with your spouse and make a rule that you will always communicate honestly, openly and with compassion towards your spouse. Don’t let fear, guilt, bad feelings or anything else keep you from talking to your spouse. Remember you’re a team now and as a team you’re responsible to work together on all problems, concerns and challenges.
Hopefully you already know what your spouse’s core values are. However it’s not a bad idea to go over them once more to avoid bigger problems latter. Make sure that your opinions about values such as religion, drinking, drugs, smoking, health, physical looks and so on are either the same or something you can come to a mutual agreement on. For example, if you choose to go to church every Sunday but your spouse refuses to step inside a church. This is something you need to either become comfortable with or come to some agreement that they will not hassle you about your dedication to the church if you don’t harass them about not going. You can also set time limits on these. Such as if in one year your spouse still refuses to go to church and it is starting to bother you, than they will agree to attend once a month and you can reward them with a massage or something special like that.
It’s also a time to establish your goals for your marriage. Yes I said goals; let’s face it, we all need goals to give us the feeling that we are going somewhere in life and accomplishing something. Goals give us a direction and motivation to see it through. Marriages are no different. Set a direction for your marriage so never feel as though it has become routine or stagnant. For example set goals to have kids if that’s what you both want. Set goals to upgrade to a better house or community in a certain period of time. You should also set financial goals, such as how much money to save a year, how much to spend and where to spend it. Remember these goals will be established only through good open communication.
Plan Your Vacation
You may have just got off your honeymoon; however you need to start planning your vacations now. It is vitally important that you plan a getaway (even if it’s only a couple of days) that you go to at least once a quarter. Not only does a short get away together in a new place give you something to look forward to, it also re-energize the relationship by having uninterrupted time together. These short trips don’t have to be expensive. Find a new place to go within about two hours driving distance. Get a hotel, see the sights and have some fun in the hotel pool. Make these get always a must for your marriage.
Remember a healthy strong marriage takes a lot of work. Prior planning and open communication will give your marriage a solid foundation to build an extraordinary life together.