I am married to a lovely woman called Louise. Before we met we both had a few partners and were no strangers to a healthy love life. I was 28 when we married and Lou was 30 and for the first few years everything was great. Lou is my soul mate and we just click together. She is as much my best friend as my best lover. We shared everything together from the moment we met and I think this was part of the problem. We were spending so much time together that we never had a chance to breathe – to take stock of where we were and where we were going. With growing stresses at work we both started to bicker at each other, mostly for the most trivial of problems. It was at this time that my mind started to drift back to the days before we met and the freedom and potential of easy affairs with more than one partner.
At first, I treated this as a one off and dismissed it as idle thought for an over busy mind. I couldn’t break the sanctity of marriage by having an affair or could I? What is marriage anyway other than a promise and a piece of paper. I went through all the questions that you may have asked yourself.
Now this was the killer moment because as with all other problems in my life, they have been a lot simpler to deal with after discussion with my best friend who also happens to be my wife.
So after a stiff drink, I broached the idea of making our marriage more open. It seems surreal looking back now but I was amazed at how calm she was and then how much more excited by the prospect she became. This seemed to be putting some sparkle and fun back into our relationship. I am not sure that this was because of the prospect of new experiences or just for the chance of a better and more varied love life.
For Lou and I, the whole issue of jealousy has never raised its head as we have laid down some ground rules on how we conduct ourselves. We never get involved in group situations as that is just not us. I trust her to be sensible and discreet and she expects the same. It just works for us and we have enjoyed multiple encounters since we made the decision to explore, the majority of which have been fantastic and mutually satisfying. Our marriage is more secure than ever and our love life is much improved.
My advice is to get out there and have fun. You only live once.