Are You an Abused Husband?

When people think of domestic violence, the usual scenario that they picture features a male aggressor and a female victim. While this is certainly the most common type of abuse that gets reported, it is also important to remember that it is far from the only kind of domestic abuse that happens.

There are certainly domestic abuse cases where a man is abused by his wife or girlfriend and the truth of the matter is that these crimes are often unreported due to embarrassment or shame. In our culture, the picture of a woman beating or assaulting a man is played for laughs, but if you find that you are in a situation where you are fearing for your safety or living in an environment of fear, it is time to consider what your next step could be.

Nobody likes to admit that they are in a relationship where they are being abused, and even more than that, there is the concern that they don’t know that they are being abused. Sometimes, things like physical intimidation starts small and ramps up later on, or perhaps every incident seems like an isolated thing, not something that is indicative of a trend. Take a look at some of the signs below and consider whether or not you might be an abused husband.

Ask yourself if your wife has ever struck you. Many men will dismiss their wives striking them as something playful or meant in fun, but remember that sometimes “joking” blows are anything but. If your spouse has ever struck you out of anger or exasperation, or if she has done anything that makes you feel threatened, this is the time to stop and to really evaluate your relationship.

Does your spouse belittle you, either in public or private? One way that people gain control over their partners is through constantly making them feel as though they can’t do anything right. This essentially fosters a dependence on their spouse’s approval and it can be extremely damaging. It can also make getting away a lot more psychologically difficult.

Has your wife ever tried to separate you from your family or friends? There is difference between not caring for your family or friends and taking steps to make sure that you do not get to see them. One of an abuser’s most important actions is to separate you from the people that love you and care about you. Do you feel as though you are growing increasingly distant from the people that you care about.

Another important indication that you might be being abused is that you find yourself increasingly silenced. It might not be anything as obvious as your spouse speaking for you or telling you to be quiet. Do you find that you are reluctant to talk to your friends and family about the fights that you have been having? Do you avoid telling the truth because of the “way that it sounds”? This is a very strong indicator that something has gone drastically wrong.

If you are an abused husband, take steps immediately. There is no excuse for cruelty to another person and you owe it to yourself to leave a situation which may become or which might already be dangerous for you. This is vital!

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