Many times, we look at things from a surface standpoint. What we failed to see being in the difficult and arduous path to actually accomplish these goals is that nobody prepares us for the years of sacrifice and destitution we may have to face on our way to success, just like nobody prepares us for the lone introspection and self-work that needs to be done before we can enter into a happy, healthy relationship.
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. You’ll never be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. You’ll never be happy with someone else until you’re happy by yourself. That’s right, you must be happy with yourself first.
We have become so reliant on external stimulus and approval that we’ve forgotten what it’s like to build the most important relationship of all – the one we have with the person in the mirror.
We long to be in a relationship because we think it’s going to bring fulfillment or completeness to our lives. We think we will finally be happy when we end up with the man or woman we’ve been creating in our minds. We think that being single means you’re unwanted, and being in a relationship means you’re loved.
The truth is, there are plenty of happy single people out there, and plenty of miserable people who ended up in the wrong relationship because they thought it was better than being single.
These people didn’t fully embrace the power and value of being alone. When you do this, you learn who you really are and what’s really important to you. You learn what your values are, what experiences you do, and don’t enjoy, how and where you like to spend your time.
You learn you evolve, and you grow without any lanes to stay in or lines to color in. You freely become who you genuinely are and something very important happens while you do this.
You learn what types of people you want in your life because you understand who is going to enhance your happiness and who is going to draw from it. You know what type of person you’d like to share these experiences with. The type of person who would make you enjoy your favorite restaurant or concert even more than you do when you’re experiencing it solo.
But if you don’t take the time to live your fullest life in the way(s) that you choose, you may find that you’re molding yourself to fit whatever your significant other seems to want. The only way to prevent that from happening is to develop yourself as an individual over time – you must be happy with yourself first.
This is exactly why people think they will be just fine if they get right into another relationship and repeat their same patterns again. Happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction are all an inside job.
Fill yourself up first. Define who you are, what’s important to you, and what you value. Learn and grow and change and evolve and become the person you choose to be. Then – and only then – will you learn what type of person will best complement you along this journey of life.
When you and they both find your “person,” that’s when the magic happens. But if you don’t take the time to learn who you are, how will you ever know who they are?
If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship. Why do some people believe that relationships are the key to happiness?
Before you can settle into a happy life with someone else, you must be happy with your own life first. Your unhappiness will resurface and manifest itself in destructive ways in a relationship if you get in one before you’re happy alone. You cannot fix internal problems with external solutions.
The thing is that people expect that a relationship will fix everything wrong in their lives. Big mistake, it does not work that way. The key to happiness is feeling comfortable in your own skin. A strong sense of self-esteem lies at this foundation. The biggest mistake people make is allowing someone else to determine their level of self-satisfaction.
Too many people are emotionally dissatisfied with their lives and try to fill this emotional void with someone through a relationship. This could not be a worse approach. You need to be happy alone and then find someone else to be happy with.
You need to find yourself and solve any past issues before beginning life with another person. Someone who is unhappy alone will only bring this negativity into a relationship.
People do not realize that if you have a problem within yourself, that problem does not dissipate the second you enter into a relationship; it will only fester. You run the risk of subconsciously associating this once personal problem with your partner, which will only yield devastating results.
Quit waiting for someone to come along and make your life worth living. You make your life worth living. Embrace the amazing opportunities life allows for. This is not a punishment, but rather a gift. You have no obligations and no one to be accountable to. Go out and do all the things you always wished you could do because you have no one tying you down or making you feel guilty.
When you are happy you radiate positive energy. People will be drawn to you. This is how a healthy relationship will thrive.
You value your self-worth and it does not need to be validated by another person. You create your own value, not someone else. You’re the one who can make yourself happy. No one else can do this for you. Sure a relationship may add to your personal happiness, but it is you who gets you there. You have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others.