Have you ever felt like your partner speaks a totally different language than you? Men and women really do speak different languages. I am going to help you better understand that the brain chemistry of a man and a woman make the same words very different. In doing so, it may help you learn the other’s language just a little bit better and thus improve communication. Better communication may lead to better relationships!
There are two key differences between male and female communication. The gender brain chemistry creates this communication difference. For men, communication is generally used to solve the problem and get the task done. On the other hand, for a woman communication is used for much more. For example, communication for the woman can be a way to solve a problem, or/and to minimize stress by raising her oxytocin, thus helping her feel better. She also may use communication to create emotional bonding, to strengthen relationships, to stimulate her creative side, or even as a means of self discovery.
This very simple distinction can lead to a lot of stress in a relationship if not understood. It has helped many of my clients to understand that men and women really do speak two different languages. If they take time to understand the other’s language, there can be peace, harmony and understanding, where there might have once been mistrust, animosity and down right hatred all because of lack of understanding.
When the male speaks and is very matter of fact and generally straight to the point, they aren’t being rude or over-bearing. That is the way their brain is hard wired to speak. Their brain chemistry has them mull things over in their “cave man time” quietly and generally alone. Then when the problem is “solved”, they speak or take action. A male brain is hard wired to solve the problem and complete the task.
On the other hand, the female likes to talk about the problem along with fifty ways it could be solved. She gets a feel for what the consensus is, even if she doesn’t go with the consensus to solve the problem. It will have made her feel good to talk about it, discuss it and maybe even think on it and discuss it a few more times. Keep in mind that even while discussing the problem at hand, her female brain has 50-100 other fires that are just as burning hot and need to be put out as the fire she is tending to at the moment.