Most humans crave something or someone out of our reach. This comes into force when we are through with the ex, but long to have sex with the person because the sex was great. When feelings of lust come to the fore and come in big, numerous reasons why the relationship didn’t pan out, may not factor. Many men and women today do not find it strange to get back with the ex for a quickie or a few days of unadulterated sex.
Here are some thoughts that may help you analyze whether the road once traveled on, is worth the effort the second time.
The thrill of having your cake and eating it without handling real issues is part of the fun. A dose of unbridled sex with the comings as goings makes getting out easy. Since cuddling or talking after the fun, wham and bam pretty much suffice! When we cannot get enough, even though we have technically had enough, the yearning to probe deeper (sic) as to why the relationship did not work out in the first place may take over. This is precisely when the thrill has worn out, – it is time to get out!
A Dose of Reality
Reasons, why the relationship did not work out in the first place, should factor in before jumping into bed with the ex, I think. The tendency to romanticise the coupling is bound to bring out worse emotions after the romp(s). This is when ground reality may strike making you realize that there was no point in going all the way, anyway. There was a reason why the relationship did not work. That is precisely why it is best never to get back on the horse (figure of speech – choose your interpretation).
Unrequited Love, You Think?
Maybe, just maybe there were feelings involved that made the two of you come together! Since you have a fair idea about the other person’s needs and expect the favor to be returned, the yearnings of happy ever after may play havoc with your emotions. The excuse that time has changed the two of you for the better may cause you to romanticise the foreplay. A chat with someone objective will help you ascertain whether it was worth the effort of hitting all the spots – G, E, and F.
Are you ready for the after-effects of the uncoupling after the coupling? A huge mess may come into play leaving you with no time to heal old wounds which may manifest into bigger issues down the line. If there is a chance of getting back together, after seeking help, it may work out. Being in the arms of someone who you were familiar with may seem great, but the hurt, again, is not worth the sex. Also, you must bear in mind, if the ex is happily married or has moved on, why cause an upheaval?
The Simplicity of Moving On
Lust is such a strange emotion; it can strike you at the weirdest of times. People fall in love for a variety of reasons, with sex being one of the core contenders. The point here is do you really want to travel down the road with an ex? Isn’t s/he supposed to be just that – a person from your past that you loved has moved on and giggle at the fun times you had in the past. When it is time to say goodbye, do so and close the chapter. Saying hello again with an ulterior motive is not healthy.
The Loneliness Factor
Many people are lonely. When an ex happens to come along exuding charm, getting into the saddle may seem ideal. Unfortunately, one of the players in the game has moved on, therefore trying to recreate a situation to deal with loneliness will never help you move on. That being said, I have heard many friends who have told me that the best way to get over an ex is to get under her/him. Oh well. To each, his own is all I say. As long as your emotions do not trick you into believing that it is the real deal.
This is my take. Going back never helped anyone. It is better to move ahead, learn from your mistakes and be happy.