Do you have a fear that prevents you from getting into – or maintaining a good relationship? Well it’s not as uncommon as you may think. There are actual terms for these conditions.
1. Pistanthrophobia. Also known as the fear of trusting people. Common problems include: not opening up to someone because of experiencing hurt/betrayal in the past, suspicious thoughts which may turn into some type of action (which includes but not limited to: constant calling to check where a person is at- or what they’re doing, constantly starting unnecessary arguments, name calling, or at extreme, stalking behavior), and a feeling of losing that person. Many people who have trusted someone in the past only to feel regretful about it also complain of others who have in some way took advantage of their trust. So as a result they put all men or women into one bad category.
2. Philophobia. Also known as the fear of falling in love. Common problems include: been hurt in the past, and not knowing if the person they’re with really does love them back (or as much as they do). With this huge fear also comes the fear of rejection. Because they’ve been hurt in the past or their feeling were not well received, they’ve decided not to show their emotions (when it comes to relationships) ever again. Many also expect things to at some point take a turn for the worst. So they think…”why even try?”
3. Commitment-phobia. Also known as the fear of commitment. The Latin term for this is commitorum-metus. Common problems include: scared of taking things to next level, staying in a relationship too long, putting a title on ones-self (such as: boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc). Nervousness is the main problem for commitment-phobic people. So they usually act irrationally when it comes to relationships. They may lie, cheat, or hurt someone emotionally- just so they find some way to get out of the relationship before it gets too serious.
Here’s the solution…you have to understand that whatever it is that’s holding you back from meeting someone or potentially having a good relationship, it’s all within your control. Start loving, trusting, and committing to making yourself a better person first. And then start allowing others the chance to show you what they are about. There are many wonderful, loving, faithful people out there that are waiting for the opportunity to not only get to know you- but to show you how much they care. Allow yourself to be happy. You deserve it.
In addition you should also seek out the help of a therapist, relationship coach, positive family member, or friend that could help you through the difficult times. Just know that you’re worthy of love- and you have the potential to get into a loving, successful relationship. Just start by opening up now to the idea of it.