Most think there are no easy answers as to why relationships fail. Before I begin revealing the simple yet rarely known reason why a relationship fails, let’s first define the word relationship in this article. Relationship is defined as: the way in which two people behave (primarily think) toward each other.
We both know relationships usually start with a person’s best foot forward; meaning they are thinking the best of the other person. Then, after a while (after the honey moon period, which I personally believe should never end) the couple falls back on their previous exposure or training if you will; meaning they begin exhibiting their relationship tapes (their beliefs they learned from their parents). This extremely common occurrence is usually strong enough to end 60% of the marriages. And of the marriages that do make it more than 10 years, a very large percentage of these partners are staying “together” in the relationship because it’s convenient. Consequently, only a very small percentage of marriage couples are actually in love and thus enjoying this easily reachable eternal honey moon stage of a marriage.
Why do only a hand full of people have great relationships? The answer: they understand that their thinking and imagining have a profound effect of what happens in their relationships. In addition, they have found a common ground of continual growth and curiosity and admiration of each other. However, in being able to do this, they must first be totally in love with themselves. If you think about it, how can you love another, if you are not in love with yourself? It’s impossible to love another without loving your self first. I know I have tried. In addition, doesn’t it make sense? Think about this. Would you ever go to a dentist who has jacked up teeth and have them work on your teeth? I hope not!
Consequently, we can deduct quite easily that the relationships that have failed are due to this one simple fact; the people in the relationship looked to the other for their love and fulfillment. I think you are getting the point. What can we do about it? Whether you are in a relationship presently or not, you may begin now in building your self-esteem and self-love by imaging blissful feeling producing images and scenes with you mate or future mate. And then watch what the Universe will bring to you and your life. It’s a never ending journey you will not want to get off.
In other words, doing this simple exercise with your mind will eventually bring about much more satisfaction in your present or future relationship. How does this work so well? It works because no one has told you that your thoughts hit their target instantaneously. For example, if you are thinking that your husband is mean? What is the likelihood that your husband shows up angry coming home from work? I have placed many studies in my book proving this reality of life actually happens with every thought you think, with everything in life!
In any case, as you begin to love yourself more and more unconditionally, you can’t help but begin noticing the positive attributes of your mate as well; like you did when you first met your mate. This daily personal growth can’t help but be a powerful catalyst in bringing more and more bliss and satisfaction into your daily life and your relationships, especially the relationship with yourself and your power. There is an obviously thing that shows up to let you know if you’re on track or not in making your current relationship or future one show up and blossom into an amazing one. Do you know what that is? It’s your good feelings!
Let’s break this thing down a little bit more so you we may all understand the deeper meaning of loving one’s self. What percentage of the time does a person on average notice what they are thinking and feeling? The sad but true answer is: it’s almost zero! This is crazy, but most people live in this way! Never realizing they are holding their dreams away from themselves with their infinitely powerful feeling producing thoughts. I do not have the space here to share the facts and science about your thinking and feelings; however, I do share these facts in my book that i mention below. In any case, when they do notice their thinking negative feeling producing thoughts, do they realize they’re actually causing stress damage to their bodies? And pushing away the possibility of good future experiences? No, they do not!
Most people never think one second about what their thinking does to their lives and body and relationships. For example, when you focus (think in a negative feeling producing way) on something or someone that feels bad to you; this is an extremely common example of stress. What does stress do to your body and brain? Does stress (negative feeling emotions) put you in a good state of mind to make good decisions? Or does it have a tendency to make you say and do things you’ll regret later? The answer is an obvious. YES! In any case, I think you are getting the idea (the truth) or at least hearing for the first time. Now, that’s a good thing!
But there’s something even more important here. There is an eternal part of you (some say God, aka Source, aka The Infinite, Higher Self, etc.) that does not respond to your actions per-say, but to your personal thoughts and ideas and judgments, in other words, your current beliefs. Albert Einstein, a brilliant scientist, shared this timeless message when he was physically alive, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” He also said, “Imagination is everything, it is life’s preview of coming attractions.” What did he mean by these profound statements? He meant that everything you worry about or bliss out about YOU move yourself closer and closer to you to eventually experiencing.
And here’s the kicker, your emotions, (positive feelings and negative feelings aka stress) lets you know instantaneously whether or not you’re going to like the experience when you eventually find yourself right in the middle of it. Nothing just happens by chance. There is no luck per-say. You have and always will invite all of your experiences into your life and body. Consequently, when you are habitually thankful and appreciative and loving toward self and others, you will always be guided by inspired thought and action into more and more wonderful experiences in your life. This is a beautiful thing we all have internally.
And at the same time, if you are habitually fighting or arguing or blaming or complaining or fearing or worrying or judging yourself and others negatively, you will always be led (guided) to more and more unwanted experiences. Remember, you will always have your free will; meaning your thoughts (beliefs) are what has created your situations and circumstances, not your actions or spoken words. All the negative experiences you live through are created and brought on by you to wake yourself up and eventually learn who you really are. Whether you currently believe this or not, you have placed every obstacle and every good experience in your life, nobody else has done this for you.
Begin now imagining wonderful experiences with your mate or future mate! You’ll be glad that you did!